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24 October
1.Bollywood ft Gunjan
2.Girls on top
3.Zara Zara
4.Like You Ft Ciara
5.Meri Jawaani
6.Driving without a license
7.Lean Back
8.Khabi Kushi
9.Bollywood Party
to be recorded late 2006
I was looking through the asian network forum, and Lomantic(the guy that did the track kinni soni) wanted some lyrics for his next tune, so I wrote this for him....
One, two, don't trouble me or my boo...
gna hit u fasta dan da new bird flu
Lomantic n his rani are comin thru,
goin in VIP, while u chil with ur crew,
its the clubz opening night,
securitys gone all tight,
set all done, sounds alright,
got to take over, its unsigned hype,
so now its time to get on stage,
quick mic check, den tym 2 engage,
gotta do all this to get a wage,
see a young lookin thing, haha, shes underage,
dedicate da 1st tune 2 ma girl,
see her smilin, like on top of the world,
all da other galz start 2 get vex up,
oi munda, tell ur bird 2 fix up,
Rapped this to SANJ- Kamrey meh ajaa, sounds orite......
AAG - Female Desi Flame......
a little quiz :P
WHAT ARE YOU READING? a book? none! i never read....
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? its the TAZ devil thing, looney tunes rock. naffi gave me it, she gt tweety 1
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? monopoly, only with a big group, its more fun, bt i hate losing.
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? them geeky ones about computer systems and the lastest technology
FAVOURITE SOUND? hmmm, any wiked track....im just a sucker for a hot track!!! hmmm does my babys voice on the fone count??? if so...thats my fav sound.....not in a dirty way
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? being broken hearted...being alone...someone breaking your trust, being scared!
FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? shit, how do i skip college today lolz, joking, recently i been thinking about some1 special in the morning
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? hmmm my ringtone is let me love u remix, i usualy pick up after the man says "haha"
FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? i dont know, i like loadza names, mariyah for girl, yassin or zakariya for boi....da list goes on
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? being open minded and nice to people...equal rights
IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? piano...i can play it, got one downstairs but i wana play it a bit better, altho my mum thinks im good. lol..i wanna master the skill, playing 2tracks isnt enuff for me
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? lol not even ordered my provisional yet, im slow
WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? hmmmm.....no one
FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? i dont drink
WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? i dont have a car, but when i get 1 it will have food in the back lolz
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? nope just the topz
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? well known Producer/DJ/Rapper
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? half empty
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? my toy box, fulla GBA games, CDz, some teddys, and nxt stuff
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 2 and 7
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? footie world cup, some extreme sports
IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE? dubai palm island...only 4 holz tho, id always come bak 2 UK, i love it ere..i sound like a bloody freshy bigging up UK.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? my hatz n my trainers n hoodyz
BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY? city, hate sand, and i might get lost in the mountains or bears might eat me
TECHNOLOGY OR ART? technology, some new techology has been influenced by art though, seem some nice computer systems..ok i sound like a geek.
COMEDY OR HORROR? comedy, i love laughing :D i get shit scared of horrorz
FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY? night time, its when im most awake lolz
WHERE'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE? my room, feel safe, gets a lil lonely tho...or on holiday in dubai or spain with my babez, and naffi and her mates.
WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 5pm if i can, bt college dayz kill me, 6:40am, i used to wake up 7-7:30 but i have 2 wake up earlier just to wake SUM1 up in the morning..... lol
DO YOU BELIEVE IN AN AFTERLIFE? yep
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? winter...hate da heat
IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? i would have enuff power 2 stop poverty....hmmm probably da power 2 provide food n water 2 poor countries
WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? shushi is errr, raw fish ??wtf? burgers r nice
IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? dont have 1
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? saturday, can laze around
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON? simpsons
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? granz meat curry, sambrero tower burger from lesta
IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? world tour...check it all out, 4 diff music
DO YOU HAVE PETS? yep 1 cat that thinks sleeping in da bath is da best thing since tinned fish 4 catz
22 August
| You Are 17 Years Old |
| 17 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
2 July Wohooooooooooooo....im finally 17.
Nothings changed though, im still an immature spoilt brat. 
I wore my "sweet 16" cap for over a week, now i guess its time to put it in the attic.
22 June Not to be taken seriously, but funny nonetheless! - You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you
- Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog (calmly walking on the other side of the road)
- Your cousin is said to have "gone abroad to get married", but you know he’s doing time in prison
- You were taught never to talk to strangers at primary school, yet your parents force you to call a complete stranger "Auntie"
- Your uncles crack jokes that aren’t even funny
- "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness
- You somehow think you’re related to Prince Naseem Hamed
- Your remote control is still in its plastic packet
- You use your religion to get yourself out of almost anything e.g. P.E, class discussions, debates, etc.
- You secretly meet your boyfriend/girlfriend in the most obvious places (e.g. your front garden) and expect NOT to get caught by your parents
- "GET YOUR BACK-UP DOWN" and "KICK OFF!" is your solution to every problem
- You studied A’ Level Maths but still think it’s possible to fit 100 people into 1 car
- You wear sunglasses in hail, sleet and snow
- You accuse the shopkeeper of being racist when he kindly asks you to pay for your packet of crisps
- Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member of the opposite sex
- You hire a convertible in mid-December
- You secretly watch "ZEE T.V." but pretend you’ve never heard of it
- "My mate wants to check ya!" is secretly your chat-up line
- Your car is better than your house
- You think you’re part of the MAFIA, yet you study Law
- You seem to think that this list DOES NOT apply to you
- You become obsessed with a member of the opposite sex, ring their house everyday, follow them home…and get rejected (you then ask out their best mate)
- You think it’s a sin if you admit you’ve revised before an exam
- You wonder why the person you fancy doesn’t come over when you and your mates scream, "Yo! Come over ‘ere!"
- At the age of 30, you still think you can get away with paying child fare on the bus
- You have a telephone at home but nobody is (ever) allowed to use it
- You find a photo of a man with bushy hair, white shoes and sunglasses…you ask who he is and find out it’s your uncle
- Your wear DKNY yet your mum buys material from Longsight Market
- You’ve failed your driving test 6 times, but you’ve been driving for the past 3 years
- In the primary school nativity plays you were always the donkey in the background (and if you were extra lucky, you were given the part of the villager)
- You’re related to your husband/wife even before you’ve married them
- The bus never stops for you
- You’re the last person to see your wedding card … and the person you’re getting married to
- Even your underwear is designer
- You dance at a complete stranger’s wedding (and claim you are a distant relative)
- You somehow think you were involved in Tu Pac’s death
- You drive your car around the same spot for 10 years playing music that was out in ’95
- You achieve A*’s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER
- Your car is better than your house
- Universities let you in for Medicine just by looking at you
- You are offended by this list and you’re going to make a complaint about it
- At home you have a butcher’s knife which is bigger than your head
- Wilmslow Road is like a second home to you
- There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway
- Your mum asks you what you want to be when you’re 6 six years old and you say, "a Bollywood Superstar"…ten years later you’re still saying the same thing
- You can’t go to certain places because your Uncle works there
- You think you’re life is just ONE BIG INDIAN FILM
- You somehow think you are a member of the F.B.I and therefore have to have code-name for everything e.g. T.P.
- You seem to think that an ordinary car is a racing car and ordinary roads are racing tracks, thus explaining why you speed around thinking you’re Damon Hill
- You were forced to watch Indian films during your childhood, and then your parents wonder why you lack in intelligence
- You are over-dressed for every occasion and seem to take it as a joke when someone calls you "Garry Glitter"
- You hardly ever take prescribed medicines because your parents have their own herbal cures at home
- Unknown "relatives" start ringing your house on the day that your exam results are coming out
- You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way
- Your Auntie has permed, dyed, damaged hair
- Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on t.v.
- A member of your family claims that they once used to live in the Taj Mahal
- You have 3 hobbies: CHILL, CHILL and CHILL
- You have to offer guests tea even before they’ve stepped into your house
- You address every other Asian person on the planet as "your cousin"
- You think you have the ability to take on the entire police force
- You dress identical to your friends and your favourite colour is black
- Girls: Your brother thinks he’s your dad
- Your wedding takes place in either a community centre or a crappy restaurant on Wilmslow Road
- You know how an Indian film will end even before it’s started (but you still watch it)
- You’re related to your doctor
- You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you haven’t seen half of these people in your life)
- At school, your parents were never aware of Parents’ Evening (…and if they did attend Parents’ Evening and you got a bad report, you told them that the teachers were all racist)
- You arrive late at every party
- At weddings the cameraman only ever cameras you when you’re eating
- Your phone line has been cut off at home, yet you own more than one mobile phone
- In primary school, your parents forced you to wear a glittery jumper with cats on it
- In high school, you teacher kept asking you if you were "forced to do things"
- In college, you either witnessed or were involved in a fight
- In University, you went to a Bhangra gig that ended with a big fight involving weird men wearing glittery pants and tacky golden earrings
- Your dad wears big, tinted-coloured sunglasses from the 60s (don’t even get us started on the yellow shirts)
- The closest you can get to appearing on Ricki Lake is CAFÉ 21
- Your parents find no criticisms in an Indian film where some guy jumps off a cliff and jumps back up again, people burst into song when their relatives are dying, evil politicians rule the world, and even the police don’t give a crap (and then they wonder why you prefer to watch "Eastenders")
- At parties, you wear more glitter and sparkly bits than a Christmas tree
- You get over-excited when you see another Asian person on t.v.
- You have attended every MELA ever organised
- You accuse your cousin of fancying you
- You lie to your parents about where you’ve been
- You know the name of every Asian person in College/University, and they know your name…but you never let on
- You know the lyrics to every Indian song ever written, but you deny it
- You come home to the sounds of Asian Sound Radio
- Your parents force you to listen to old Indian/Ghazal songs
88. Your auntie always wants you to have a secret relationship with her son/daughter 89. You are constantly being compared to every other Asian kid on the Planet - You pronounce English words in a typical accent when speaking to your parents e.g. toilet: "Toylat"
- You never go to the library "to work"
- Your phone number is x-directory
- A member of the opposite sex simply says "hello" and you accuse them of stalking you
- You receive phone numbers from complete strangers (either that or you’re handing your number out to complete strangers)
- You own a gold chain with your name engraved on it
- Guys: you lock your sister up and then go out chilling yourself
- You have cousins that you’ve never even heard of
- At Bollywood superstar concerts you’re more interested in the people in the audience than the actual stars performing the show
- You wonder why people stare when you hire out a grand limousine for a wedding in a run down community centre located in the middle of nowhere
- You have received a prank phone call at least once in your life
- When celebrating a religious festival, you suddenly feel the need to scream and shout, dance on top on restaurants, cars… and even your friend’s shoulders for that matter
The CHINESE DETECTIVE. A MAN SUSPECTED HIS WIFE WAS CHEATING, SO HE HIRED THE FAMOUS DETECTIVE, CHEN LEE TO WATCH HIS WIFE WHILE HE WAS AWAY ON BUSINESS. A FEW DAYS LATER HE RECEIVED THIS REPORT. "MOST HONORABLE SIR, YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE. HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE. HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW. HE AND SHE GO TO HOTEL I CLIMB TREE OUTSIDE HOTEL WINDOW. I LOOK IN WINDOW. HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE. HE UNDRESS SHE. SHE UNDRESS HE. HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE. I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OFF TREE. I NOT SEE. NO FEE. CHEN LEE. 
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